16 Days Left

With 16 days left in our 6 month journey, I feel like I've lost control.  I am scared that Paige is avoiding me like the plague, and has zero interest in continuing on this health journey with me.  (Though I hope she continues this journey on her own for the rest of her life, and I am always here to help her when she wants help and is ready to ask for it!)  Maybe it's because of my video blog, where I laid out my truth.  I've never heard her side of the story, though.  We've worked out since. But there almost a dead-ness in her desire and motivation.  Paige's energy was dismal, at best, and I could tell she would have rather been anywhere, but there, with me, working out.  Even in our small group personal training class, I could tell she would have rather been anywhere else but there.

I've had to let go of taking it personally, but I do.  Is there something more I could have done? Could I have made it more fun?  In fact, others in the class (who are also following this journey), have come up to me and said how great of a time they have working out in the fun class environment, but that it looks like Paige was miserable and didn't want to be there.  Usually, I say, well, if you don't want to be there, then don't go.  But I care. I care about Paige, and I want her to succeed.  I want her to have fun too.  What's going on? I have no clue. I have lost control.

In fact, Paige hasn't put any effort into scheduling our weekly personal training session, for the past several weeks.  At this point, I had hoped she would be making sure that she got in every training session she could fit in, and make sure that we came up a time to workout each week together.  I tried to give her options to workout on Friday, as our usual agreement, but it didn't work out.  She had other commitments that were more fun. So, skipping the workout is the first thing to go.  Has this every happened to you?  It's a sad reality, but when time is tight, usually the first thing to go is the workouts... Well, that's not my reality. Sometimes when time is tight, you have to see the workout as being as important as a doctor's appointment.  Because, essentially, it is.  You wouldn't skip a doctor's appointment if you had one.  That's how I feel about workouts, especially workouts with someone else.

At the beginning, Paige agreed to write 5 short blog posts per week about her journey.  Lately there have been none. It's been several weeks since a post.   So, if she's not living up to her end of the bargain, why am I?  Well, I'm trying to, because I care.  I just want her to care as much as I do.

16 days left in this journey, but a lifetime left in her own journey.  It's crunch time, but I can't crunch for her.  She has to find the "crunch" within her self.